You Don’t Need to Know
I was recently working with someone who was at one of those “fork in the road” moments in their life. I was getting really worked up (in my head) because I didn’t know which choice that person should make. This was a big decision, there were repercussions on both sides.
How can I help them? What should I say?
My shoulders were all hunched up, & my body tense. I was feeling despair over not knowing which direction to guide this client.
A wise mentor once said to me, “You don’t need to know, that is for the client to know.”
Big-Sigh-of-Relief. That’s right.
I don’t need to know which direction to guide clients.
But I can be with them while they figure it out.
Motivational Interviewing reminds me that within each person lies innate wisdom and knowledge. My job is to partner WITH them as they find their way toward change & evoke THEIR motivation, ideas, & plans.
How easy it is to forget that the person sitting across from me holds key wisdom, knowledge, ideas & expertise. I don’t have to hold it all.
Practicing the Motivational Interviewing spirit keeps me oriented to that headspace and heartspace as I work with clients.
I’m a Motivational Interviewing trainer and I STILL get caught up in the role of thinking I need to come up with ideas or knowing what’s best for others!
Motivational Interviewing Tip of the Week:
If you find yourself trying to decide what is best for your client, I invite you to sit back and remember to let your client hold onto that task. How can you be a partner to them as they figure it out? Elicit their hunches, relay your belief in them, explore where this decision aligns with their values and beliefs, and offer support as they figure it out.
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Hi, I’m Hillary Bolter. At MI Center for Change, Motivational Interviewing is our passion. Motivational Interviewing will help you become more effective and efficient as you support clients’ change!
