Vampire Spells and Curiosity via Motivational Interviewing
One night when I tucked my youngest daughter in, she just didn’t fall asleep.
Time and time again, I walked by her bedroom and saw her laying in bed, wide awake.
What on earth is going on? Maybe starting back to school has her keyed up?
“You ok honey? Do you need anything?” I asked, one of the many times I checked in with her before I gave up and went to bed myself.
“Nope, I’m fine!” she chirped.
Maybe she isn’t getting enough exercise. She probably needs to be more physically active to get tired. Gosh, she is going to be so tired tomorrow! (And we all know what that means- tough day tomorrow!)
I moved into problem-solving, as my resolve strengthened for this to not happen again.
I’ll talk to her about exercise, and I’ll make sure to do some running around with her to get her heart rate up after school to wear her out. Maybe we need to sign her up for a sport. And I’ll ask to see if she’s feeling anxious, maybe something happened at school.
Fast forward to the next morning, when over breakfast, my husband commented that her alarm went off at midnight. (She slept right through it).
“Why did your alarm go off at midnight?” he inquired.
“I set it to do a Vampire Spell at midnight!” she replied, matter-of-factly.
(Ah, she was trying to stay awake until midnight…)
Both of our eyebrows shot up, and then something clicked for me, as I remembered all of the stress and thinking I’d done last night, guessing what might be wrong, problem-solving about what we could do to help her sleep when this happens again.
She read our looks as concern, and continued, “But don’t worry, I would bite you both so we would all be Vampires together!”
We all had a good chuckle. If I were to distill Motivational Interviewing to one word, it would be CURIOSITY. Get curious!
Motivational Interviewing Tip of The Week: When you find yourself brainstorming all that could be going on with someone and problem-solving solutions for them, consider if you have been curious enough to ask first. Their motivation for what’s going on (and therefore the solutions!) may be surprising. What can help you get curious, drop your perspective, and consider theirs? Motivational Interviewing is all about evocation!
Related Posts
Why take a break with advice-giving & fixing?
What’s wrong with jumping in with your ideas, and fixing something when someone has a problem? Let’s start with an important term and definition. Motivational Interviewing has named this ‘fixing’ behavior our Righting Reflex. Not, “I'm right and you are wrong,” but...
Related Posts
Why Ask Why? Why questions and Motivational Interviewing
When I talk about the evoking process of MI, which is essentially about helping a client connect in with their WHY CHANGE, sometimes a training participant raises their hand and says, “But in graduate school, I learned not to ask why questions.” There appear to be two...
Let’s Learn Together!
Hi, I’m Hillary Bolter. At MI Center for Change, Motivational Interviewing is our passion. Motivational Interviewing will help you become more effective and efficient as you support clients’ change!
