To Change or Not To Change, That is the Question!

It can drive us crazy, as helping professionals, to sit with clients as they vacillate between desire to change and staying stuck. Which are they? Stuck and complaining, or ready to change??

Back and forth, back and forth. To change or not change?

That is THE question!

Motivational Interviewing offers us tools when working with clients who are stuck in the muck. 

In fact, MI is designed to target client ambivalence. You know, when a client says, “I know I should but…”

Ambivalence technically means “strength on both sides.” And having ambivalence in the change process is so very normal.

(And actually, MI co-founder William Miller just published a book on this topic called On Second Thought: How Ambivalence Shapes Your Life! It is officially now on my nightstand yet to be opened, which means that I am in the contemplation stage of change with reading it! I have ambivalence even here! The side that keeps me from reading it? Being tired, ready to sleep, the other 6 books stacked there, or wanting to catch the next episode of ____ with my hubby… The side that drives me to read it (change talk!)? Loving reading anything by Bill Miller! Wanting to hear more about his take on ambivalence! Reading up on MI literature so I can be the best trainer I can be! How long will the book sit there? Ambivalence is normal for me too!)

Our task, as Motivational Interviewers, is to have an exploratory conversation with clients to elicit and build their change talk. 

Change talk?

You know, talk you hear from a client when they are exploring the motivation side for change. 

The change side. And first, we have to recognize change talk when we hear it. 

To change or not to change? We listen for their why change arguments. 

Why might change be important to this person at this time? What makes that change keep niggling around in their minds, wanting to be paid attention to?

Motivational Interviewing Tip of the Week:  Ambivalence is normal. Sometimes we (or our clients) get stuck in the contemplation stage for very long periods of time. It’s hard to mobilize for change! Remember, there is strength on both sides- to change and not to change! That’s why people get stuck. Our first task in working with change talk is learning to recognize it. Listen for any language you hear when a client is talking about why change would be good for them. When you hear it, reflect it! Reflect, reflect, reflect!

Next week, I’ll explore several methods for eliciting change talk!

Did you know I have a short course available “The Interplay of Ethics and Motivational Interviewing“? Taught with Dayna Guido, MSW, LCSW, ACSW

Watch my full video here!