Sympathy is Different Than Empathy: Empathy & Motivational Interviewing

In Motivational Interviewing, we often talk about the importance of Empathy, especially when it comes to engagement with clients, but we don’t focus on Sympathy.

Why?

Because Sympathy is different from Empathy! People often think they are the same and use them interchangeably, but there are clear distinctions.

Sympathy involves understanding from your own perspective – viewing someone else’s circumstances from YOUR eyes.

Empathy involves viewing someone else’s circumstances from THEIR eyes.

Essentially, empathy is putting yourself in that person’s shoes and trying to understand their experience from their perspective.

Not so easy to do!

Sympathy mostly involves feeling sorrow or pity for another’s misfortune, and this can create an uneven power dynamic that can foster disconnection. If someone is being pitied, they may feel that that person believes they are in a better situation than they are; that they are better off in some way.

Empathizing can be harder to do because, as Brene Brown says, “it requires you to connect with a feeling that is similar to or the same as what that person is experiencing.”

Empathy requires vulnerability. When individuals are vulnerable and open about their feelings, engagement and inclusion are promoted.

So, in short…Both sympathy and empathy come from a caring place, but sympathy has the risk of fostering disconnection, while empathy fosters connection.

And connection is an essential ingredient to any positive relationship.

(You can check out Brene Brown’s description of empathy vs. sympathy here!)

Motivational Interviewing Tip of the Week: When you are trying to understand a client’s perspective, are you doing it through your lens, or attempting to see through theirs? Empathy takes more work! I invite you to sense the difference for yourself between feeling empathy or sympathy with clients.

Watch my full video here!