We’ve all had situations when we have an issue or concern to address with a client…maybe a client didn’t tell the truth, or follow a rule in an organization, or maybe they’re engaging in reckless behavior and you’re concerned about their safety.
So we are faced with a sensitive topic, and we may feel unsure about how to approach it.
We don’t want to upset them or ‘raise discord,’ as we would say in MI.
So what do we do?
Remain curious and present discrepancy.
Our goal is to approach the conversation with an attitude of curiosity to try to understand more.
The object is not to present information in support of our position in order to gain a confession or to get our client to acknowledge the problem, but rather to question how this person’s behavior fits their values or goals.
And then, ask for understanding.
Here’s an example…
Let’s say your client wants to have stable housing and is struggling financially and having trouble paying the rent (underlying values: stability, financial security). And, he is in jeopardy of losing his job because he consistently arrives late (behavior concern).
Here’s what could be said in a gentle, inquisitive way…
“I’m curious about something and I’d like to get your thoughts.”
“You’ve told me that one of your main goals right now is for you to be able to pay your bills and have stable housing. Keeping your job is really important right now and you regularly coming in late is putting your job in jeopardy, your only source of income and way to pay those bills.”
“How do you make sense of this?”
When we raise the concern and compare it to the client’s goals/values, we’re presenting the discrepancy between what is important to them and how they are behaving.
We’re asking them to analyze their behavior and voice an explanation as to why they are behaving in a way that does not support their goals or values.
Then, we can remain in partnership with our client to help them figure out what they want to do next.
MI Tip of the Week: When needing to raise a concern with your client, remember to orient to the spirit of curiosity (not judgement or confrontation!). Then, present the discrepancy between their behavior and goals/values, and see what they make of that!
