If you haven’t read my message from last week about Motivational Interviewing and horse training, check it out here.
Yep, I have one more favorite moment from the Monty Roberts horse video about guiding a wild mustang to accepting his first saddle and rider. It’s very much like the spirit of Motivational Interviewing in action.
Monty Roberts first is engaging with the horse, connecting and gaining trust. Then, piece by piece, he introduces the riding gear to the mustang, giving her a little time to adjust between each new thing, all the while continuing to move forward toward change. (Is this not what we do?!)
He secures the saddle cloth and saddle onto the horse, then allows her to step back and notice this big change. She rears up a bit, and here’s what Monty Roberts says,
“Notice, my pulse does not go up a tick. Bucking is to be expected.”
My pulse does not go up a tick. Does my pulse go up when a client says something surprising or shocking? Sure! Do I try to keep a poker face? Absolutely. My pulse does not go up a tick. The client’s choices are not about me. I don’t need to get all worked up about it.
Bucking is to be expected. Change is hard folks! Of course people will struggle with change.
This is a good opportunity to check my expectations of others. Am I expecting someone to be compliant and move smoothly through the stages of change? Am I expecting someone to see something they don’t yet? Be ready to do something they aren’t yet? For attempts at change to go smoothly the first time?
My expectations of other people’s change process really muck up the helping process.
Motivational Interviewing teaches us to be curious about where the other is in the change process, to be with them and hold space for whatever bucking and adjusting needs to happen on the path toward change.
Sincerely,
Hillary Bolter, MSW, LCSW, LCAS
Member, Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers
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