Less Fixing, More Listening

What most folks need is a good listening to!

But as helpers, we tend to want to jump in and fix.

Motivational Interviewing calls this the Fixing Reflex- our own urge to give advice, information, or try to fix a problem for a client. Or, try to fix the client!

But people aren’t problems to be fixed, and jumping in to fix people’s problems is often more about our own discomfort rather than what the client needs!

“Have you tried?” “I think you should…” “Maybe you could…” “Why don’t you…”

These are common Fixing Reflect statements.

And our Fixing Reflex comes from a good place! We want to help!

But before we jump in and try to help via Fixing Reflex, try these Motivational Interviewing strategies first!

Pause and consider W.A.I.T…Why Am I Talking? If we can pause and wait, then we can resist that urge to fix.

Instead of Fixing:

Listen! Get curious to hear more about what their ideas are about this dilemma
Listen! Reflect what you are hearing, and ask questions to help them discern what the real dilemma is
Ask permission before you give any advice or ‘fix it’ ideas
Listen some more! If you do give advice, ask what their thoughts are about that advice!

Fellow MINT member Amy Shannahan created this 5 min video on the Fixing Reflex. I love this clear video that explains the Fixing Reflex and Motivational Interviewing strategies we can use instead!

Watch my full video here!