Bucking Horses and MI Change

If you haven’t read my message from last week about Motivational Interviewing and horse training, check it out!

I have one more favorite moment from the Monty Roberts horse whisperer video as the trainer is guiding a wild mustang to accept his first saddle and rider. 

Monty Roberts first is engaging with the horse, connecting and gaining trust. Then, piece by piece, he introduces the riding gear to the mustang, giving her a little time to adjust between each new thing, all the while continuing to move forward toward change. (Is this not what we do?!)

He secures the saddle pad and saddle onto the horse, then allows her to step back and notice this big change. 

She rears up a bit, bucking.

Monty Roberts says, “Notice, my pulse does not go up a tick. Bucking is to be expected.”

Bucking is to be expected.

That’s brilliant! Change is hard folks! Of course people will struggle with change. Of course people buck! I do!

My pulse does not go up a tick. 

Does my pulse go up when a client says something surprising or shocking? Sure! Do I try to keep a poker face? Absolutely. 

My pulse does not go up a tick. What helps me here is remembering that my client’s choices are not about me. This is their change they are wrestling with. I don’t need to get all worked up about it. 

My expectations of other people’s change process can really muck it up.

Motivational Interviewing teaches us to be curious about where the other is in the change process, to be with them and hold space for whatever bucking and adjusting needs to happen on the path toward change.

Motivational Interviewing Tip of the Week: This week I invite you to check your expectations of others. Are you expecting someone to be compliant and move smoothly through the stages of change? Are you expecting someone to see something they don’t see yet? Be ready to do something they aren’t ready to do yet? Are you expecting for attempts at change to go smoothly the first time (no bucking!)?