What an interesting way to look at it!
Did you know that when someone is ambivalent about change, and you argue for change, you are likely to solidify their argument AGAINST change?
Think about it! The more you defend something, the more invested and connected you become to that belief.
So… we are in the wrong position when we are arguing for change, as our client is likely to argue against it.
“When we try to change a person’s mind, our first impulse is to preach about why we’re right and prosecute them for being wrong,” writes Adam Grant in this recent NY Times article, that references Motivational Interviewing.
In Motivational Interviewing, trying to convince or persuade someone to change has a name: The Righting Reflex. And the Righting Reflex comes from a good place- our desire to help them change their mind!
But…
Adam Grant continues, “Yet experiments show that preaching and prosecuting typically backfire — and what doesn’t sway people may strengthen their beliefs.”
Grant continues, “Much as a vaccine inoculates the physical immune system against a virus, the act of resistance fortifies the psychological immune system. Refuting a point of view produces antibodies against future attempts at influence, making people more certain of their own opinions and more ready to rebut alternatives.”
So how does this translate to your work? Where does the Righting Reflex show up most for you? Let me know your thoughts!
Motivational Interviewing Tip of the Week: Notice when you begin arguing with someone for the benefits of change. Do you notice they typically argue against change? Or disengage with you? Consider how you can pause, reflect what they said, and perhaps ask an open ended question that elicits the change side. “What might some of the benefits be for change?”
Let me know how it goes!
Also, if you are a healthcare worker, check out this 5-hour Essentials of MI course offered by MINT member Chris Miles!
