I was recently talking with another MINTie (member of the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers) from Rochester, NY. She’s been in the helping professional field a LONG time. She said when she was teaching Motivational Interviewing in the 1990’s, people teased her and called her “Pollyanna” because of the MI compassionate, optimistic approach to working with individuals with Substance Use Disorders (SUD).
I admit it, this sweet Shel Silvertein poem is a bit Pollyanna like. It would be nice if hugs and smiles always made everything great.
But I’m gonna play with the Tug O’War metaphor here a bit.
Do you ever feel like you are in a Tug O’War with a client about change?
Think about it. When YOU have played the actual Tug of War game, with a rope cutting into your hands, feet dug in, leaning back, trying to avoid getting pulled over or losing ground? What is your instinct, as the opposing team pulls harder and harder?
You dig in. You increase your effort to oppose. You pull as hard as you possibly can to win. It becomes about the fight.
And if we are tugging a client toward change when their readiness isn’t there, they will likely respond with those fight instincts. Dig in. Oppose.
When we are in a Tug O’War with someone about a behavior change, the fight becomes the focus of attention instead of the actual change.
I’m not so naive as to suggest that stopping the tugging and starting the hugging is the solution (heck, maybe!?).
But I am here to tell you, Motivational Interviewing invites us to drop the rope.
Drop the rope.
Whether they actually really make this change is up to them, isn’t it?
Motivational Interviewing Tip:
I invite you to notice when you find yourself in a Tug O’War, and drop the rope. The Motivational Interviewing skill of reflections can be used here, as well as saying out loud something about their freedom to choose. “You know, whatever you decide to do is up to you.”
Thank you for taking a moment to read! I’m committed to writing weekly blog posts (soon, all these will be up on my website blog page!) What questions do you have about MI in practice? Struggles you encounter in your work? What special topics in Motivational Interviewing would you like for me to speak to?
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