Have you ever noticed that when your emotions are strong, it’s harder to think clearly?
Strong emotions, whether fear or anger or worry, can take over and we can struggle to problem-solve effectively.
Let’s say your client is unsure about a big decision in her life, and it is causing her anxiety. Maybe it’s even keeping her up at night. There are natural responses to finding relief from the discomfort that anxiety brings, and she could find herself trying to make a quick decision in order to feel better- or to be stuck at a stand-still in the problem-solving process.
The emotion needs to be managed first.
That’s where reflections come in!
A reflection is one of the most important micro skills in Motivational Interviewing, and it is a form of active listening.
Reflections are guesses about what we believe our client means, and are verbalized back in the form of a statement.
Complex reflections add meaning or emphasis to what has been said, and state the client’s unspoken thought, feeling, value, or belief.
When our clients hear our reflections, they feel heard and understood, and are better able to process the emotions that are connected to their thoughts.
If there is a great deal of emotion attached, then it may take a series of reflections in order to get to a point where they are able to think more clearly, and THEN be able to have a discussion about what to do next.
Think about the angry customer who needs to vent first and know that you understand what they are upset about BEFORE being able to talk about solutions.
Reflecting is my go-to skill!
Motivational Interviewing Tip of the Week: When emotions are high, try reflecting, and watch the process of clearing emotion unfold!
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