What if, Just for Today, you fully embodied the spirit of Motivational Interviewing?
What does that mean anyhow? “Spirit of Motivational Interviewing!?”
It actually clicked for me when I heard MI co-creator Steven Rollnick call it “attitude” rather than spirit. Yes, the ATTITUDE I bring to clients absolutely impacts the relationship AND client outcomes. This spirit is the thread that ties it all together, the foundation of the house, the air we cannot see but we need to survive… you get it, enough metaphors. It’s important.
The foundation of change lies in the therapeutic relationship.
And the RELATIONSHIP is directly influenced by the ATTITUDE we bring to the work.
So set aside your education, technical skills, interventions, & knowledge, and show up.
Be present. Be curious. Be compassionate. Breathe.
Now, you are getting somewhere.
What we know from change research is that the therapeutic RELATIONSHIP is the most essential component of our work. Motivational Interviewing has named some essential ingredients we bring to the relationship.
So technically, the spirit (“attitude”) of Motivational Interviewing involves these four ingredients:
- Compassion. Unconditional positive regard.
- Acceptance. Who they are, where they are in their journey. Absolute worth.
- Partnership. Together. The work is an active collaboration.
- Evocation. The implicit message here is, “You have what you need, and together we will find it.”
When Bill Miller (co-creator of MI) was asked how long it takes to learn MI, he replied “10 years.” Then he explained. A big part of learning MI is really, truly embodying the spirit of MI. Humble curiosity. Believing our clients HAVE this knowledge inside of them, they just haven’t been ready yet. Being patient in the often slow and circuitous walk toward that change with clients.
It’s not easy. I have to challenge myself to reorient to this attitude every day.
Bill Miller embodies the spirit of MI (yep, I’ve met him, multiple times). He walks into a room, and his eyes are lit up, curious, his smile is gentle. He’s like a Buddha with a bolo tie (he lives in New Mexico).
I invite you to a challenge! What if, just for today, you chose to believe your clients are doing the best they can? What if you believed everyone you encountered was?
Do you feel yourself opening to compassion? That, my friend, is the spirit.
And we could all use a little extra compassion right now.
Let me know how it goes!
(For extra bonus points, try practicing this attitude with your family members! Trust me, much harder).
