MI Tip: Empathy in Motivational Interviewing

In a training I provided recently, participants got into a deep discussion on what empathy is and how it fits in with Motivational Interviewing (MI).

Empathy is the ability to understand, and even partially experience, the feelings of another.

And Motivational Interviewing is not Motivational Interviewing without empathy!

As Motivational Interviewers, our first task is to engage with our clients, and this means listening deeply to what is being shared. Accurate empathy is a key piece to Motivational Interviewing! We use reflective listening to relay our empathy-–our attempts to understand-– and build engagement.

Many folks have seen this Brené Brown video on Empathy vs. Sympathy.

If you want to check out a longer explanation/definition of empathy, Carl Rogers shares his explanation in this YouTube video!

Empathy doesn’t mean having experienced the same thing as another person, but it does mean striving to drop our perceptions and experiences of something in an effort to step into the world of what our client is perceiving and experiencing.

Empathy can be a trait, but it is also a skill. It takes effort to stay curious about what the client is experiencing, and keep our stuff out of the way!

Here’s a fun question: Do you have more or less empathy when you have been through the same things as your clients?

Some years back, I listened to a study shared on the podcast Hidden Brain about empathy. The question was posed, “Who’s going to be more empathetic to a problem you’re confronting — someone who has never been through it, or someone who has been through it themselves?

I thought for sure we had more empathy when we’ve experienced the same thing, but this clip suggests differently! Here is the link to that if you want to check it out!

I invite you to consider what gets in the way of you practicing empathy with clients, and what helps you be more empathetic!

MI Tip of the Week: Consider what gets in your way of experiencing and practicing empathy as a provider! Our goal as Motivational Interviewers is to practice and demonstrate accurate empathy. That often means setting aside our assumptions and thoughts about their experience! Stay curious about what your client is thinking, feeling and experiencing.

Watch my full video here!