Hello! Chris Miles here!
I’ve decided to do a 2-part series on Affirmations. Today, I wanted to talk about the difference between Cheerleading versus Affirming.
“Cheering and Affirming?? Aren’t they essentially the same thing?” you may ask.
Nope!
The messages of Cheerleading, “You can do it!” & “I believe in you!” are about what your client is going to do.
Affirmations are about what your client has already done.
Affirmations are statements that highlight a client’s abilities, strengths, skills, or values/beliefs.
Now, there isn’t anything fundamentally wrong with Cheerleading. We are trying to encourage and be positive.
But what happens when our client doesn’t “do it?”
When they fail?
Our clients can feel defeated and embarrassed, like they let you down, and may be nervous about facing you again.
This happened to a nurse I was training a while back. She had a patient drop out of a program and she couldn’t understand why, especially because a good relationship had been formed between them.
It wasn’t until we were talking about this topic did it all become clear to her.
The nurse shared…“That’s what it was! My client was trying to please me because I had cheered her on so much. She was nervous about seeing me again because she hadn’t followed through and was concerned that I would be disappointed in her. It all makes sense now!”
When we affirm someone and recognize their strengths and abilities, we focus on qualities that are constant, no matter the outcome.
Someone can ‘fail’ or not accomplish what they set out to do, and still be kind, insightful, organized or caring, etc.
Affirmations help individuals see that they still have all the right ingredients for success even when an attempt at change doesn’t go as planned. And, they don’t have to worry about letting you down in the process.
Motivational Interviewing Tip of the Week: I invite you to consider how to turn a cheer into an affirmation. What qualities do clients have that remain true to them, no matter what the outcome?
