“How can I use MI when my client isn’t talking?”
We have all been there, sitting with a less-than-talkative client as the seconds and minutes tick by.
What should I say? Do I fill the space? Do I wait for them to break the silence?
We often fall back on asking questions when this awkwardness happens.
I have 3 non-question tips for you!
#1 Get curious. What might the silence be saying? Is your engagement with this client in need of some nurturing? What might help them feel more comfortable? Is the focus of the conversation not connecting with the client at that moment? Have you been talking too much, giving too much information or advice? My invitation here is to get curious about what you might be inadvertently doing to contribute to the silence.
#2 Get Comfortable with Silence. Yep. Take a deep breath. Feel your body in the chair, wiggle your toes, take another deep breath, and invite yourself into comfort with the silence. Try not to break the silence to ease your own discomfort. That’s about you, not about the client, and we are striving to do what is in the best interest of our clients!
#3 Reflect it (Complex Reflections). Yep. Reflect the silence. All complex reflections are guesses, and typically, our clients will respond to reflections by giving more information. Some examples of complex reflections might be, “You aren’t feeling really comfortable talking right now.” “You don’t want to be here.” “I’m the last person you want to be meeting with right now.” “You wish you were someplace else.” Let the reflection sit there, see #2 above (let there be silence!), and await their response.
Motivational Interviewing Tip of the Week: When a client is not talking and it’s getting uncomfortable for you, what will be helpful to invite yourself to do? Get curious about why the client isn’t engaged with you? Gain comfort with the silence? Or, reflect the process that is happening in that moment.
Watch the accompanying video here!
