I was recently providing a Motivational Interviewing Zoom training to a group of peer wellness coaches from Tennessee. Folks were coming back into the main ‘room’ from virtual breakout rooms having completed complex reflections practice activity.
One participant commented, “It’s really amazing how complex reflections say to the client, ‘I am listening to you, I care about what you are saying, and I want to know more.’”
I am listening to you.
I care about what you are saying.
I want to learn more.
That’s profound! Because those ARE the implicit messages we are sending to clients when we are practicing the deep listening that complex reflections bring.
And it feels SO very good when the message we are getting from someone we’re talking to is “I am listening to you, I care about what you are saying, and I want to learn more.”
It makes you want to share more, go deeper. It feels GOOD! It increases connection & engagement.
I worked with veterans for nearly a decade, many of which struggled with PTSD. Isolation was a big challenge. Sharing about struggles and trauma was foreign. What’s the point? I can handle it. I’ll take care of it myself.
A mentor of mine used to say, “We don’t heal alone, we heal in relationship with others.”
There is magic that happens when we are talking with someone who is truly listening, who cares about what we have to say, and is curious to learn more. Motivational Interviewing can bring magic to a relationship, and set the stage for healing or change to occur. We heal and we change when we feel the support and caring within relationships. When we are being listened to, deeply. Good stuff.
Motivational Interviewing Tip of the Week: Consider the implicit messages of reflective listening. As you challenge yourself with complex reflection practice, you are listening beneath the surface and reflecting that back. Within that, you are saying, I am listening to you, I care what you are saying, and I want to learn more.
Sincerely,
Hillary Bolter, MSW, LCSW, LCAS
Member, Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers
