6 Benefits of Reflective Listening in Motivational Interviewing

When learners to OARS and Motivational Interviewing are learning about Reflective Listening, many are initially skeptical about the benefits of it. “What’s wrong with asking questions? We don’t want to put words in someone’s mouth,” they say.

When we are using Motivational Interviewing, we reflect more than we ask. (Reflections are the “R” in the OARS skills of Motivational Interviewing). Folks are often skeptical about this! People are so married to their questions, and using questions to move conversation forward. They are afraid of ‘getting it wrong’ with reflective listening, and quickly return to what they are comfortable doing (asking lots of questions). 

When training MI, we usually do a reflective listening activity, and through that experience, we explore the benefits of reflective listening rather than have me lecture folks about it. I was training on this very topic the other day, and decided I may as well jot down some of the things folks shared as benefits of reflective listening!

1. Reflective listening helps us to demonstrate empathy. When we are providing reflections to clients, we are holding up a mirror to what it is they are saying. It helps demonstrate that we are striving to really understand who they are and their internal world 
2. Reflective listening helps us avoid the question and answer trap! When we fall into asking lots of questions, it can put clients on the spot, and it can reinforce a power dynamic that can happen in a helping relationship where one person is the Questioner, and the client is the Answerer. Providing Reflections helps us to relay our desire to understand and partner with our clients in their change process.
3. When we are focusing on reflective listening, we are listening to understand not to respond. As reflectors, we are demonstrating we are not aiming to further our agenda–  we are trying to listen! It helps us as providers really listen! (What a concept!)
4. By providing reflections to clients, we are checking for understanding! When we provide a reflection, our client will either correct us or agree with our interpretation. Either way, clients typically respond to reflections by sharing more! Reflections keep us humble as we constantly adjust and course correct to how clients respond to our guesses.
5. Reflective listening helps clients clarify what they mean! When your client hears your reflections, they get to try it on for size. In this process, it can help them expand their understanding of what they mean!
6. Reflective listening in Motivational Interviewing helps to reinforce and elicit change talk! If we’re using OARS in Motivational Interviewing, then we’re helping someone with work through their ambivalence about something. We are tuning our ears to listen for their motivations for change. When we hold up that mirror via reflections of their change talk, we help them deepen their connection and desire to change!

One of my favorite quotes is from Blaise Pascal, 

“People learn what they believe by hearing themselves speak.” Help your clients hear themselves via reflective listening!

MI Tip of the Week: Of the OARS skills of Motivational Interviewing, Reflective listening is the most commonly used skill. There are so many incredible benefits of reflective listening for our clients. And, reflective listening is a skill that takes time to get good at! It nudges us, as providers, to listen more deeply to what our client is saying. And, not just what they are saying, but what they mean but have not yet said!

Watch my full video here!